


Shade By The Fire

by kemor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Banter, Dreams, Flashbacks, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 15:26:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16267004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kemor/pseuds/kemor
Summary: Longer talk between Levi and Zeke, based on ch.110.





	Shade By The Fire

 

_ The choice...I’ll make it for you. Give up on your dreams and die for us. Lead those recruits straight into hell. _

 

_ Thank you...Levi. _

 

He felt salt on his lips, sweat flowing down his face like rain. It wasn’t caused by the tsrain of cutting these giant morons into bits, he was used to it. It was the impatience that was at work, the dreadful sensation to make it in time.

 

Another slash, dull blades flying behind him, already replaced by a new set, second to last. His attention is half focused on the giant ugly mutt in front of him, his right eye continuously peeking to the right, where he was. He was still there. Good.

 

Another cut, blood splattering all over his face and hands. Dirty and disgusting, but he doesn’t care. One more look to the right. 

 

_ He’s gone. _

 

Panic grasping his heart, he slowly looks behind, his white horse left behind by the remaining forces, shining in the sun like some sort of a beacon of light.

 

What follows was a blur, blind fury that took over his entire mind, cutting out thoughts and images. But not hearing, his ears now in great deal of pain from that laugh.

 

_ That damn monkey’s laugh. _

 

Levi’s eyes snapped open with a quiet gasp, his eyes burning from the sudden exposure to the darkness inside his tent. He gulped, his throat dry and aching, cold sweat running down his chin onto his lap.

 

_ Oh. This dream again. _

 

He sighed in annoyance and leaned forward in his chair, massaging the bridge of his nose. It’s been happening more frequently as of late, the dream. There was a period where he had a rather long break, which made things easier, to some extent. 

 

Levi stood up from his chair and grabbed the water, chugging it down a second later. He put the mug down harder than it was probably necessary and stepped out of his tent into the darkness of the forest.

 

The very first thing he saw upon getting out was this ugly, bearded mug, which immediately made him scowl. His day was already ruined. Not like any of the previous ten were great, but this one was definitely going to be the worst. 

 

Zeke Jaeger, who was sitting by the fire clad in a blanket, was just about to take a sip of his coffee, looked up from his mug, his glasses becoming misty due to the steam. He swore under his nose and put the mug away, wiping his glasses clean.

 

“Good morning, Levi. Or, should I say night...It’s really hard to tell time in here.” he said to the shorter man while cleaning his glasses. He put them back on and looked at Levi, frowning a little. “And here I thought your scowl couldn’t get any deeper. You’ll get wrinkles in no time.”

 

Levi scoffed and took the longer way around the fire, walking up to the soldier on guard.

 

“I’ll take over for now, go get some rest. Good job.” he said to the soldier and patted him on the shoulder.

 

“Yes, sir.” saluted the man and gave his rifle to Levi, before walking away. 

 

The Captain threw the weapon over his shoulder and walked up to the table, a hot pot of coffee already brewed, as if waiting for him. He took a nearby mug, poured some water in order to clean it, spilled the water to the side and poured some brown liquid into his now clean mug.

 

From the bonfire, Zeke laughed gently. “Looks like you’ve at least grown fond of the coffee. I can’t blame you, I find it addictive myself.”

 

Levi put the jag down probably harder than it was necessary and walked over to the fire with his mug in hand. “Probably the only good thing about this whole  _ alliance. _ ” he replied.

 

Zeke smiled under his beard. “Come now, those docks must come in handy, too. They are the reason you have this coffee, you know.”

 

Levi didn’t reply, instead sipping on his beverage. Zeke cleared his throat and adjusted the blanket on his shoulders, looking around curiously. 

 

“You know, some could say my living conditions are...rather special, but I, for one, like it here.” he said after a while.

 

“Maybe you’ve got your monkey genes to thank for it.”

 

“That could be the case, actually. I’ve grown rather fond of nature shortly after inheriting my titan. Well, it’s either that, or puberty did its thing and made me think about something else than girls.” he said “Did you have any girls to occupy your mind, Levi? Or boys, perhaps?”

 

Levi’s eyebrow twitched a little. “There may have been one girl...in the past.”

 

“I see.” Zeke said shortly “Well, all that said, I do miss my gramophone, though.” he added with a sigh. His eyes then snapped open, a sudden thought occuring in his mind. “This reminds me – do you people know what electricity is?”

 

Levi looked up from behind his mug. “We’re not cavemen.” he replied shortly. 

 

Zeke leaned back. “I never assumed anything of the sort. Perhaps the reason I haven’t seen it yet is because it’s a privilege saved only for the rich. Am I right?”

 

“Partially.”

 

Zeke chuckled gently in triumph and sipped his coffee. Silence fell between both men again, crackling of the fire being the only sound that could be picked up. Zeke stared into the flames, which reflected themselves on his glasses, hiding his eyes from Levi.

 

Levi himself scowled at the sight. Not that he was blinded by the now glowing eyes, definitely not. But it fit this filthy bastard’s nature so well, his eyes hidden from sight, leaving him unknowing of their true nature.

 

Reading the bastard was something that came with annoyingly extreme difficulty for Levi. Years spent under the ground taught him how to read people like books, and yet he was struggling here. And it pissed him off.

 

This didn’t go unnoticed by Zeke, who would often tease and irritate him on purpose, striking conversation whenever it was his shift to watch him over. The shifter was currently looking at Levi, his brow frowning gently.

 

“Would it really kill you to drop this antagonistic demeanor for just one night, Levi?” he asked the Captain “Why do you even put it up?”

 

Levi, who was just about to drink put down his mug in slow motion, pure disbelief and disgust written on his face.

 

“Do you really have the bravery to ask me that?” he asked quietly “Or is your skull really stuffed with shit up to your ears?”

 

Zeke’s eyes narrowed. “Ah, yes. That day. I thought I told you, your higher-ups and everyone who came screaming at me ever since I came here, that everything I did was a part of the plan, our plan. Everything I did was for Eldia.”

 

“We do not deserve your devotion. I’m sure all the people you’ve killed in your service are glad to be of use for someone as great as you. They surely do not mind dying for your cause.” said sarcastically Levi.

 

Zeke scowled, his nerves finally touched. He put his mug away from himself and leaned over the fire, his eyes finally visible for Levi. They were sharp and fierce.

 

“It must pain you, doesn’t it?“ he whispered ” Knowing you’ll never get to cut me into pieces for the third time, the final time. Don’t hide it, Levi, I know it does. Your eyes deceive you. They’re glaring at me so much I might shit myself any second now. Would you mind softening them a little? Or looking away?”

 

Levi leaned forward as well, his face mere centimeters away from Zeke’s.

 

“Go ahead, do it. To me, it will be just a little more shit to look at.”

 

The shifter leaned back. “Even your words are as sharp as your swords. Unbelievable...” he shook his head in disbelief.

 

Levi leaned back as well, the grip on his mug increasing over his lap.

 

“You say you’re loyal to Eldia, that you’ve always been hers. Maybe your loyalty really is real, maybe it isn’t.” he wondered out loud “But despite all that, you have killed countless Eldians inside these walls alone. God knows how many people you’ve killed out there, beyond. Do you even remember the people you’ve killed here, at least?”

 

“Before I answer that, allow me to ask you a question.” said the bearded man and adjusted his blanket. “Did you have anyone you were close to among those poor souls who charged at me at Shiganshina? Or in that Eldian village?”

 

Levi’s eyes narrowed. “That wasn’t just any Eldian village. Its name was Ragako, one of my subordinates comes from that village.” he said, avoiding the question on purpose “You’ve killed his mother, father, and siblings.”

 

Zeke sighed. “I wish you hadn’t told me that name. Makes it even worse to handle.”

 

“Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly started to feel guilt over it.”

 

“I always have, however not knowing its name made it easier to forget. Now I will remember it until the day I die, though that was probably your intention.”

 

Zeke sighed again and took his glasses off, cleaning them with his blanket. 

 

“I didn’t want it to happen, but unfortunately for me I wasn’t alone at that time.” he explained “Marley came with me. They used gas with my spinal fluid in it, one that knocks Eldians unconscious and enters their bloodstream. Once they’re unconscious, I simply have to scream to turn them into titans that have a subpar version of the Coordinate written into them, courtesy of my royal blood. I didn’t want it to happen, but my hands were tied.”

 

“Oh?” hummed Levi “Quite convenient, isn’t it? Whenever you have to get your hands dirty, there is always someone watching you, tying your hands behind your back.”

 

“Marley has never fully trusted me.” he replied “They never do, not a single Warrior has ever been fully trusted. In order to fool them I had to play the best to my ability, which is what I’ve been doing for over twenty years.”

 

“Again, I’m in no place to deny this.” began Levi, his voice quiet. “But I’m pretty sure there wasn’t anyone nearby to watch your dirty hands when you were cheering to yourself after slaughtering my men with rocks. Baseball, was it? That’s how you named that.”

 

Zeke frowned dangerously.

 

“Admit it, deep down you’re just a giant sack of shit that enjoyed everything you had done and pollutes the air every breath you take. You may want to become a savior to every living Eldian, but you don’t give a shit about human lives, that’s for sure.” finished the Captain with a low growl in his voice.

 

Zeke looked up from behind his mug. He sighed and put it down for a moment, his eyes glued to Levi.

 

“Tell me, where have you acquired the skill of understanding other people’s thoughts? It is not a skill popular among the ladies, I’ll tell you that.”

 

“I don’t need you to tell me about popularity. I’ve had my share of it.”

 

Zeke sighed. “Oh, well. Let’s be honest, Levi.” he said and adjusted himself in his seat. “The only reason you hate me so much is that I’ve probably killed someone you cared about a hundred times more than anyone else from that charge.” he said “Had he or her not taken a part in that charge, you wouldn’t spit acid in my face as much as you’re doing it now.”

 

Levi’s eyes narrowed dangerously, but he didn’t say anything. Taking it as a bullseye, Zeke picked his mug up again and drank from it. 

 

“I want you to know, that I have also lost people. People I’d give everything to bring back, despite our differences.”

 

Levi arched an eyebrow. “Your parents?”

 

“That’s right.” nodded Zeke. “I knew what my parents were doing was wrong, a path straight into hell for Eldia’s future. I did what had to be done.”

 

“Yes, because a seven-year-old is perfectly capable of deducing something like that.”

 

“If you tell a dog that he is a cat since the day he was born, he would believe it. It was the same with me. I was taught to stand behind Eldia since the day I was born. My parents acted against that.”

 

Levi sighed gently through his nose and drank a little of his coffee. Zeke blinked slowly and drank from his, short silence falling by the fire.

 

“I do have to admit, that I also resent you, Levi.” Zeke broke the quiet “I can still see you in my dreams sometimes, carving me like a nice steak for dinner. I’ve never experienced pain as great as back then.”

 

“What you’re saying sounds like music to my ears.” said Levi. 

 

“I bet it does. So, here we both are, hating one another like the enemies we used to be should. Me, practically in chains in foreign territory, with no one to talk to but you. You could easily ignore me, or gag me and leave me by the tree to rot until someone picked me up...but you didn’t. And I think I know why.”

 

Levi arched an eyebrow. “Why?”

 

Zeke leaned forward again, his eyes now more subtle. “Because you wanted to ask me these questions, to make your soul feel better, at peace. Deep down you wanted to know  _ why _ , like a kid whose parents died in an accident, leaving them asking God for a reason. That is why you haven’t tried to kill me, or torture me.”

 

Levi’s mug cracked from his grip. Noticing this, Zeke pulled back, proud of himself on the inside. He readjusted his blanket once again, flames covering his glasses once again.

 

“As fun as it is to sit here with you every day and night, we’re starting to run short on time. When will I get to have my experiments with Eren?” he asked.

 

“I’m not the one to decide that.” replied Levi, making sure his voice sounded as nonchalant as possible. “I’m waiting for orders from HQ. If they come up with a decision, I’ll know the next step. For now be a good boy and stay here.”

 

Zeke scoffed gently. “They are fools if they think they have the luxury of time.”

 

Levi sighed. “That I must agree with you on.”

 

Silence fell again, this time for good. Levi stared into the fire, before gently shifting his eyes up, to Zeke, who was now fully devoted to his drink. His eyes couldn’t be seen once again, a perfect representation of what sort of a person he truly was.

 

Still, no matter how much he hated the bastard, Levi couldn’t deny, that he had also managed to get to know and understand him a little better. 

 

However, no matter how much time they spent together and how many more night talks they’d share by this fire, it wouldn’t change that one fact. 

 

That he still had a promise to fulfill. And fulfill it he most definitely will.

  
  



End file.
